I wanna start my own style my ownMCDojO!

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else Trollshido
1

Just for shits and giigles I wanna give out Rank Certificates to me and all my pals.Anyone know where I can buy blank martial arts rank certificate,I used to remember seeing them in karate rags?Or should I just go to a printer?Anyone that helps me with a link : I will make you a full , not an honorary 8th degree Black Belt Master Instructor.Sorry I am 10th Dan…I also need help with the name: I;m thinking I want to make it a version of Tai Chi but say that the Ninja did it so its easy to do AND effective for fighting.There wil be 400 forms,ususally of only three moves each. and the weapons are going to be ninja weapons and the 3 sectional staff…Here is my proposed ranking system

-No belt
-white wristbands
-White Belt
-White belt with yellow tip(1,2, and 3 tips
-White Belt with yellow wristbands
-Yellow Belt
-Yellow Belt with green tip(1,2,3,4,5,and 6 tips)
-Yellow belt w/36 tips and yellow wristbands
-Green Belt
-GreenBelt with blue tip(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8and 9 tips)
-Blue Belt
-Blue Belt with purple tips(12)
-Blue Belt with purple tips and Blue wristbands
-Purple Belt
-Purple Belt with12 brown tips
-Purple Belt with brown tips and brown wristbands
-Brown Belt
-Brown Belt with 15 black tips
-Brown Belt with black tips and black wristbands

BLACK BELT:

-black belts are awarded a complete ninja outfit ,with tabi boots and a ninjato
Black Belt ranks go from Level 1 to level 9

RED SASH: Red sash is the equivalent of 9th degree

thats it its goonna be great!!
please any suggestions would be greatly appreciated ,other than “kill yourself” :headbang:

2

Kill yourself.

No okay I think it’s a funny idea. Make it complicated too, like have different test requirements that don’t stack up for EVERY belt level, and have certain belt levels that you must progress to simultaneously. Like require someone to have a belt in both 3-Section Staff fighting and Meditation before progressing on to the next level, and so on and so forth, and make it so confusing that it’s technically impossible to advance beyond a white belt. Heh. And then when people ask you how to advance beyond white belt, either:

  1. Tell them that there are secret ninja techniques that need to be mastered by them first, but that they are not senior enough to learn (aka not paying enough money), but that they cannot be senior unless they learn the techniques first. When they complain about it’s impossibility, claim it is a ninja paradox that they must first solve before advancing, hence revealing the true nature of the test.

  2. Tell them to have patience, and that the path to the next belt is long and ardous, but that with proper guidance they may one day make it. In the meantime, tell them that patience is the way of a ninja, and that if they cannot first let go of the belt system, they cannot gain belts at all, hence they should forget the belt system in order to progress.

  3. Tell them that the only way to advance in the system to start learning more techniques, is to explore the Moons of Jupiter and advance in the Rings of Saturn.

3

I like the wristbands. Perhaps you could also introduce tassles.

4

If you have wristbands, you HAVE to have headbands as well. Like white belt, white with yellow wrist bands, white with yellow wrist bands and yellow headband.

5

You can call your style taichi-no-jutsu.

Which is a Japanese/English hybrid for taichi is not an art. Of course your students don’t know that. They’ll think it’s cool, like something out of Naruto.

6

gentlemen,how could I foget the headbands!!!Everyone posting to this thread will be given Black Belt staus

“Make it complicated too, like have different test requirements that don’t stack up for EVERY belt level, and have certain belt levels that you must progress to simultaneously. Like require someone to have a belt in both 3-Section Staff fighting and Meditation before progressing on to the next level, and so on and so forth, and make it so confusing that it’s technically impossible to advance beyond a white belt. Heh. And then when people ask you how to advance beyond white belt, either:” GENIUS

-No belt
-white wristbands

-White Belt
-White belt with yellow tip(1,2, and 3 tips
-White Belt with yellow wristbands
-White headband
-Yellow Belt
-Yellow Belt with green tip(1,2,3,4,5,and 6 tips)
-Yellow belt w/36 tips and yellow wristbands
-yellow headband

-Green Belt
-GreenBelt with blue tip(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8a nd 9 tips)
Green Headband
-Blue Belt
-Blue Belt with purple tips(12)
-Blue Belt with purple tips and Blue wristbands
-Blue headband
-Purple Belt
-Purple Belt with12 brown tips
-Purple Belt with brown tips and brown wristbands
-purple headband
-Brown Belt
-Brown Belt with 15 black tips
-Brown Belt with black tips and black wristbands
-Brown Headband

BLACK BELT:

7

Woohoo! Honorary black belt! The step to starting MY OWN MCDOJO with FAKE CREDENTIALS is just beginning!

8

You also got to spot a mullet, large tinted glasses, wear really stupid and morbid looking colourful gi with so many patches that it makes you look like scarecrow. Also the most important part, you need a potbelly too and do really complicated wristlocks for all your counters, so that you can amaze our students with the complexity of the defense.

BTW, never forget, your instructors must dress in neon ninja uniforms.

9

The BJJ guys are really going to jump on you for that first line about patches.

10

Make the students treat you like a GOD.

11

This wasn’t funny when the first guy proposed this years ago. Some things ever change.

12

I suggest that you also have different coloured Hakama and tabi to indicate rank after black belt.

White Hakama with black belt (worn on the OUTSIDE) and fluffy pink tabi for 2nd dan
Camo Hakama with leopard skin belt and sparkly glitter gold tabi for 3rd dan
Shiny gold Hakama with red kung fu sash zebra striped gi in tow and kung fu slippers for 4th dan with lime flower and black headband… This is gonna be a fashin hit in the DOJO’s

image courtesy of KungFuColin’s fat ass Aikido days.

Yeah - it’s gonna be a hit.

13

Oh! Different uniforms for the women! Women have to wear only PINK headbands, no matter what their rank.

And they only get special “Yin Level Black Belts” that aren’t as good as the regular ones. And call them all “dear”.

14

The better to hide in the concrete jungle.

This sounds like a funny parody, but please don’t give the belts or certs to anyone not in on the joke, or I bet we really will see them on here…

15

What about seminars and retreats?

Any successfull McDojo will require them. The more expensive the better. The more obscure the teachings at these events the better.

16

No, no, no. No seminars and retreats. A super secret ninja camp located in his own back yard. He will charge all of his students exhorbitant rates, so they can pay his mortgage while freezing their asses off. They will work on secret ninja tai chi skills like ‘Washing Master’s car’, or ‘Mowing the Heavenly Lawn’. Perhaps ‘Sweeping the Ultimate Garage’.

As for uniforms, I’m thinking tye die tabi. Just a thought. With sequins.

17

Dont forget in your advertisement that you were a killer for the CIA. Your story was portrade in Bourne Identity/ Supremacy. You have to use this name or the CIA would send a kill squad out if they knew you were teaching common civilains these techniques.

18

Don’t forget your undefeated record in secret undergound fighting tournaments.
All of which you won in seconds with one-touch knockouts. This is essential to promote the deification from the students.

19

KF Colin has the right idea. But he forget the Beret, and the fortified ‘temple’ compound located somewhere in eastern europe/texas/ecuador

20

Thanks WC newbie…
I came in, and verily verily owned this thread… Where’s all my +rep points?