Wow, he is everywhere on them thar world wide interwebs. I did a search for him and the first page is just cracking me up. I found this gem posted on an AIM Chatroom “ZotChat”…
fogive me if this is a repost but it’s too funny:
Matt Barvo can slam a revolving door.
Matt Barvo is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Matt Barvo destroyed the periodic table, because Matt Barvo only recognizes the element of surprise.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Matt Barvo pajamas.
Matt Barvo will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Matt Barvo can divide by zero
Matt Barvo once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Matt Barvo doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Matt Barvo counted to infinity - twice.
Matt Barvo played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Matt Barvo ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
They once made a Matt Barvo toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Matt Barvo can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Matt Barvo allows to live.
Matt Barvo knows the last digit of pi.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Matt Barvo.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Matt Barvo.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Google won’t search for Matt Barvo because it knows you don’t find Matt Barvo, he finds you.
Matt Barvo sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Matt Barvo never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
If you spell Matt Barvo in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Matt Barvo invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Matt Barvo could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Matt Barvo has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
It takes Matt Barvo 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Matt Barvo is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Matt Barvo CAN believe it’s not butter.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Matt Barvo.
When Matt Barvo does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Matt Barvo doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When Matt Barvo wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Those aren’t credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
Matt Barvo uses a night light. Not because Matt Barvo is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Matt Barvo.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Matt Barvo.
Matt Barvo once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Matt Barvo played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Matt Barvo’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Matt Barvo was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Matt Barvo.
Matt Barvo does not sleep. He waits.
When Matt Barvo plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Matt Barvo is on.
There is no such thing as global warming. Matt Barvo was cold, so he turned the sun up.
What was going through the minds of all of Matt Barvo’ victims before they died? His shoe.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Matt Barvo were cloned, then it would be possible for a Matt Barvo roundhouse kick to meet another Matt Barvo roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Matt Barvo and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
From the thread located here:http://www.zotchat.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&p=22929