I need to learn Spanish really quick!

Okay here is the situation. I now live with 5! Spanish girls, and 3 of them I would mount at any given time. The only issue is, 2 of the 3 good looking hot girls don’t speak English at all and I don’t speak any freaking Spanish. So I got to learn Spanish quick, I am thankful for any help… Okay I am off now, for obvious reasons.

Speak the international language de amore…

I could give you a copy of the Border Patrol’s Spanish handbook if you want.

Watch Telemundo with closed captioning enabled (in Spanish), like it’s your job. Actually get into the shows, even the stupid Novelas.

Does it contain any useful sentences, something that could come in handy?

them latin tv shows are chalk full of sexual innuendos!
I tried doing everything short of paying for classes when I hooked up with a dominican girl last year…including telemundo

“Bend over and spread 'em.”

When I had 6 months to learn Spanish before going to Argentina, I took a Spanish class at an adult school and I was studying Rosetta Stone’s Spanish program. Rosetta Stone is very very good.

By the end of the 6 months, I was at about a 5th grade child’s speaking level.

I’d say Rosetta Stone as well. Expensive as hell but it works.

I thought I could learn Italian 2 weeks before I went to Italy. I accidentaly told a waitress I have a beautiful red penis, and made a hand gesture that meant ‘vagina’. Then my wife yelled at me for flirting with her.

Oh, you must be new to the internet.

Nothing works better than speaking it wrong. Then they’ll want to help you speak it correctly.

Are you implying that the OP should some how get the software without paying by using some kind of torrent/file sharing software? Haven’t you seen those commercials? Stealing software or movies is just as bad as beating an old woman to death using a baby seal as a club.

Also, watch out for calling any spanish-speaking girl “Spanish”. She may get pissed off if she’s Puerto Rican, El Salvadoran, etc. Saying “Spanish” when describing a person indicates that they are from Spain (the country). It’s like calling someone from the U.S. an Englishman (because he speaks english). Some can take offense.

I’d hate to see you have that door slammed in your face, all because of a silly mistake like that.

Those shows are far too distracting with their hot, busty chicas in tight, low-cut blouses.

He won’t learn shit.

f4n4l you fail at the subtle flirt.

ASK one of the hot Latinas to teach you. Make feeble attempts to communicate and revel and relish their giggle corrections.

Offer to teach them some German in exchange for learning a little Spanish. what more do you want then a little one-on-one time with them? I am sure, being European you can work a little Italian, German, French, Spanish and cobble together a conversation using differing languages as the source.

Let’s see:
you can waste your time on the internet listening to hacked Rosetta Stone programs or learn from a MUY CALIENTE LATINA.

Somehow, I think you will choose more MSN camtine with Lubell.

rojo
azul
cuidado
lo hicimos
vamanos
adios
solto
ayudame
gracias

that’s about all Dora’s taught me so far

Argentinan spanish is not spanish

watch spanglish… it’s a good piece of science fiction… where else are you gonna see adam sandler bang paz vega?

If I’m a lucky man, nowhere and never.

Here this will get you started. And seriously, why the fuck you aren’t asking one of the girls to teach you is muy tonto (very foolish). I owe pliskin some rep for once again, he and I are on the same page. Scary thought.

And I’ve talked to girls with a combination of my shitty spanish and slightly better english. Its not that difficult. Smile a lot and be shy, don’t try to hide the fact that you have no fucking clue what you’re doing. Smile a lot, look at the floor and generally be bashful. You’ll be fine.

Por favor, yo quiero apprender espanol. Puede ayuda me? (I would like to learn spanish. Can you help me?)

Quieres bailar con migo? (Would you like to dance with me?)

Lo siento (I’m sorry. You’ll be using that one a lot)

Te quiero, mija (save that one… maybe for never)

Diga me (tell me)

There’s a bunch of dirty shit too but you don’t need that.

Oh yeah… case you’ve never dated a latina here are some words of advice:

Learn her culture a little. Not so that you have to like it, but so you recognize it when you see/hear it. Music (musica) and food (las comidas (meals)) go a long way.

Watch out for hermanos viejas (older brothers).

Yes you will put up with just about anything. Yes they are muy sabroso, caliente (flavorful and hot) and if you watch them dance say adios a tu corazon. (goodbye to your heart) They’re going to ruin your life. Enjoy it.

My wife is Mexican, and she can’t roll her R’s. JAJAJA!