I took some stuff on Monday, and my serotonin levels are kind of fucked up, and I went from being depressed to really, really pissed off by the end of the school day today. I had weight lifting class, so I ended up breaking a couple one rep maxes and lifting way more fiercely. I also started shit with two guys bigger than me, and they backed down, it was amazing (I am 5’8" and 120, one guy probably weighed around 160-170 and the other 180-190). Some other stuff happened, but I pretty much expressed the gist of it.
So… what I wanna know is if there is some way to reproduce this rage from pure will. I have never been an aggressive person, in fact, relative to how I felt today I have always been a fucking pussy (the main reason I sucked at wrestling was because I was scared of getting hurt or hurting someone else). Anyone have a specific way in which they get themselves in a rage before competition (not a blind rage, I felt really focused too)?
Edit: I guess this is synonymous with getting pumped up, but I don’t mean it in a “I know I can win” way, I mean it in a “I COULD KILL A MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT NOW” sort of way. I doubt that the prior condition would make me physically stronger.
Edit: I know this sounds like a spam post, but I am totally serious.
[quote=jnp;2087741]Have an infraction for being too dumb to post this in YMAS.
Stay out of the technique forums unless your thread topic concerns technique.[/quote]
Just because it is in the mental realm, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it isn’t a technique. What the fuck do you think trainers are doing when their boxers are in the corner? The only difference is that I wanna be able to do it by sheer force of will (I can’t have a trainer following me around for whenever I want to get pumped up), which I know for a fact can be done.
Seriously, if I learn how to do this I will be willing to throw down with anyone on this forum. When I was raging, I was totally willing to kill the two guys who happened to piss me off with something insignificant. I also knew that I was probably going to get hurt if I tried to fight them, but I didn’t care, I was just confident that I could hurt them to a worse degree than they could hurt me (i.e., if I got scratch, they would have a bruise, and if I got a bruise they would have a concussion).
It was really great, I wanna be like that all the time. I am seriously considering getting into steroids if I can’t control this mentally.
Edit: What I really want to be able to do is the “I will fuck you up” look, and it needs genuine intent, or at the least the self-assurance to actually fuck someone up (which I never have). I am pretty sure that if I could make that state of mind permanent, I would never get fucked with again.
In Trollshido, it is hard to be serious. But I’ll try for a minute.
How old are you? It could easily be a hormone thing as you mentioned you ‘took some stuff.’ If you are still in your teenage years and/or early 20’s, it could be as simple as that.
As for how other people get in that frame of mind, it varies from person to person. Me thinking about puppies being kicked might not elicit the same reaction from someone else. But, that sort of focused rage should not be rage at all. It should be confidence (rely on your training) and concentration (be in the moment). Fighting angry and with rage will probably cause you to telegraph, overcorrect, and burn out too soon.
Feeling like you can make others ‘back down’ is simply posturing and is on the edge of being dick-ish. You may like the feeling, but it will catch up with you.
That might not be the answer you were looking for, but it is an answer.
(oh yeah. watching a person kick puppies would fill me with rage.)
And, as a serious follow-up, all shitting aside, is this a regular occurrence?
If so, you may look into being eval’ed by a psychiatrist for possibly bipolar type-2 symptoms. I know that jnp may not like me trying to be serious in this thread (because it was waaaay off topic and self-serving where you originally posted it), but bipolar disorder is not to be fucked with so I have to make a mention of it.
This is the thing though… I haven’t actively trained in a martial art for a while. I got a membership to a good MMA gym, but could never bring myself to go because I have never been a fighter at heart (like I said, I have always been scared to hurt myself or others), and as a result was fucking miserable every time I went and stopped giving a shit about fighting capacity (which never helped me with my initial problem with bullies in the first place). If I could get myself in a rage by force of will, I imagine I would be able to control it too, and being a dick wouldn’t even be an issue. Basically, I went into martial-arts for the wrong reasons, and if I could do this, I wouldn’t need to fight in the first place.
The only problem that I can forsee is that while I don’t like considering myself a martial-artist (the resentment of accountability might be a contributing factor to my reluctance to train), the law will. I don’t intend to use this abusively, but if I have to be able to project a killing intent and someone won’t back down, I could be in serious trouble. On the other hand, TKD is the only thing that I have been in long enough to be assumed as proficient with, and I can always argue the point that it is lame as fuck (I learned more in a couple months of Goju-Ryu once a week over a couple months [e.g., how to break ribs with a roundhouse kick and effectively block incoming attacks] than I did in five years of TKD).
[quote=Uncle Skippy;2087790]And, as a serious follow-up, all shitting aside, is this a regular occurrence?
If so, you may look into being eval’ed by a psychiatrist for possibly bipolar type-2 symptoms. I know that jnp may not like me trying to be serious in this thread (because it was waaaay off topic and self-serving where you originally posted it), but bipolar disorder is not to be fucked with so I have to make a mention of it.[/quote]
I am certain that it isn’t a psychologically issue, this was chemically induced.
Ok Ok I have a Solution, you’ll need a lot or cough drops, match head’s some propane, and some other stuff… But most of all your need a place to make this Rage candy thats safe from the police…
lololol, you’d be surprised at what it actually was.
…and I don’t care about being a LARPer, if I don’t feel the need to know how to fight I won’t give two shits about being a real martial-artist.
Edit: Ummm… and on second thought, I guess you could assume a proficiency with wrestling since I was in it for a couple years, but it isn’t like they were teaching me anything that would be illegal in competition. I did figure out some cool shit with wrist and ankle control though…
Edit: …and I am not really concerned with being able to defend myself anyways since the only people I fear are those who regularly train (I figure that if I am going to be assaulted, it is going to be by a crackhead or something, and at that point it will come down to whether or not I am willing to injure the other person to prevent harm to myself).