“Are you looking in my brain?” the suspect, a 6’4" man with brown hair and blue eyes, asks. It is almost 10:30 p.m. on November 24, 2004. The room is completely dark. A police officer is examining a man suspected of driving under the influence. The cop shines a flashlight in the suspect’s eyes, checking the reactivity of his pupils. The results indicate that the suspect is on some kind of drug; he later admits to having taken large doses of cough syrup.
Lights back on, the officer administers a simple walk-and-turn (WAT) test. The suspect fails to follow almost all the directions, muttering about ninjas all the while. Suddenly the suspect stands on one foot and lifts his arms in the air. He remains in this position for many seconds, trying to imitate a stance in the film Karate Kid.
After failing the WAT miserably, the suspect asks the cop a question: “Do I qualify as a ninja?”
The suspect is Erik D. Tillotson. He is not a ninja; he is a criminal.
Maybe he was just possessed by a Ninja ghost, like the hot dancer chick from Ninja III Resurrection. Maybe that’s a Ninja’s ghost’s idea of a practical joke. Probably wasn’t even drunk to begin with. Too bad it won’t hold up in court. Even if they call on a Ninja expert to testify.
Yeah, that dancer chick was hawt. She was like a VJ for MTV back in the day for two seconds if I remember right. I also didn’t get how she tried to break the Ninja possession by dancing. I guess chicks are just dumb. D-U-M dumb. I also got a huge kick in the seat of my pants how the cop whining seduced her, and then she tears her shirt off and pours tomato juice down her tits. I woulda just walked out to get some non V-8 flavored girl. I also like how since she’s possessed by a Ninja, she suddenly knows how to fight. Yet, she fights with dance moves out of flashdance, when the Ninja in his original scene was using wristlocks. Also, why the fudge would a Ninja ghost possess a hawt dancer? It’s not like he went looking for lesbo sex. Why didn’t he possess a bodybuilder? I mean, he was out for revenge.