How I make money v. 1.0

8:30am: I wake up and contemplate suicide as I realize I didn’t die in my sleep. I think for a minute about how I should probably get up and get to work because I only have half an hour and I have been hitting the snooze button over and over several times now. I get in the shower and pretend that I’m the terminator waking up from being sent into the past, this usually helps me get through the day.

9:00am: I’m still trying to get out of the house.

9:30am: I walk into the office and wonder where everyone is. Turns out, it’s just me and the office manager. Usually I’ll get a call and have to go somewhere to go do something for some company. Usually they just forgot to plug something in or it needs an anti-spyware scan. I usually leave, go get breakfast and receive phone calls from chicks I dance with wondering what I’m doing.

10:30am: I usually arrive wherever I’m going. And start “working,” and getting shit together. I look professional, I speak clearly, calmly, use big fancy words and make them laugh a little and give them assurance that whatever it is I’m doing, it’s for the best. I sit down open up the internet and start posting on it while AVG or Spybot runs in the background. And I try to figure out how to convince my boss that I was working the last hour and a half.

12:00am: Fast forward to now, I’m hungry. The client walks in and I switch to command prompt and type in, “ipconfig /all.” It looks official. Client is happy. I continue to play on the internet while I run a memory test.

2:00pm: At some point I may or may not have had lunch between now and then. I find my way back into my office, this time usually just with the receptionist. I tap my fingers together and wonder what I’m supposed to be doing and why they’re paying me to do this. Ah, Internet. How you are always there for me.

4:00pm: I start backing up hard drives and have a bunch of them running on one station watching and waiting to see how long the power supply will last before it burns itself out. My record is 6 HD’s on one machine, it really was a spectacle. I start imagining that I’m flying on the moon, and that it’s made of cheese and that I have a magical cape that gives me powers to breathe in a vacuum and fly at super speeds.

5:00pm: I’m thinking about leaving. But then I get hit with having to configure some firewall for some douchebag who won’t pay their bill on time. I take my time.

6:00pm: Someone once told me, “Think about if you helped to change someone’s life for the better that day. It’ll get you through.” So I started thinking about it. I do ABSOLUTELY nothing and did nothing to help anybody except get my boss money for doing things for people.

You would throw up if I told you how much they paid me to do this everyday.

Video or it didn’t happen.

I never go for the first run of anything, because the bugs haven’t been worked out yet. I will wait for v. 1.1 or v. 2.0 whatever to come out.

If they pay you so much how come you forgot my birthday

Because that way he gets your attention when you complain :slight_smile:

i want a roller coaster for my birthday this year

and it better go upside down and shit

on second thought, i don’t want to have to clean up after a shitting roller coaster

Email’d to your boss. :occasion1

You’ll get nothing and like it Spaulding.*

*Caddyshack

i cant wait to work. sitting at home all day is boring

you bastard!

so MJS, how much are you getting paid? i’m on an empty stomach, so I’m pretty sure I can handle it without vomiting.

I’m sure my wages beat MJS’.

doesn’t matter how much you earn at this point, it matters how hard you work for it.

if you slack off as much as MJS, and make more money, let’s hear it.

i play easy bass parts for elementary school productions and get paid $75 an hour. or at least i did until the director realized just how lazy i was and dropped me like a hot turd. now i make minimum wage at my taekwondo school.

do you mean like for plays and such? I wonder how much the pianist gets paid!

Mine is better.

8:30 PM: I wake up and contemplate genocide as I realize the cast of friends didn’t die while I slept. I get in the shower and pretend that I’m the main character in the movie ‘The crying game’ after he realized he has been dating a transvestite.

9:30 PM: Arrive at work. I spend ten minutes opening all of the websites and applications for my job and 20 minutes scanning through subjects of the 1000 + hosting server / mysql server email notifications I receive to make sure nothing important is in there.

10:30 PM: The next six hours are a jumble of tickets and phone calls from customers, and questions from ‘advanced’ support representatives along the lines of whether domain names work around corners or under water. I have ‘eye of the tiger’ and ‘final countdown’ on repeat blasting from the speakers at my desktop to keep me conscious.

4:30 AM: I always spend my lunch break taking a 50 minute nap in my car.

8:30 AM: Get in the car and try to stay awake and in one lane as I drive to my part time job.

9:00 AM: Arrive at 2nd job, nuke a Jimmy Dean sausage sandwich and wash it down with some Naked apple juice for breakfast. I have a two week supply of the same in the break room fridge.

9:30 AM: Answer emails and take phone calls from snooty university educators who use our software. Ironically, many of them can’t spell or express themselves in a coherent manner. Some of these people are in high positions at IVY league schools.

2:00 PM: Drive home.

2:30 PM: Sleep.

8:30 PM: wake up and start the process over again. Thankfully my jobs only run into each other 3 days a week. Of course this means I work 7 days a week. The money is great and I get bored with only a 40 hour per week job anyways.

It’s union scale, so we both made the same thing. $300 for 2 rehearsals and 3 shows ain’t bad at all. :icon_thum

2007/04/09 9:30am - woke up. didn’t feel like working today.

2007/04/10 12:30am - went to sleep.

I think my post may actually be more interesting.:blob1: :pancakebu