How does one have fun?

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else The Finer Things
1

This might appear to be a stupid fucking inquiry. And it may be. But some motherfuckers just can’t seem to get the fun thing down. Take Q-dot the vicious for example: I don’t have many stories of getting drunk because I usually feel like puking before I get fucked up. It’s fucked up, man.

I can’t even be smoking weed again because that shit makes my chest feel fucked up and I don’t even be getting that high.

Fuck coke. Only oxygen and second hand weed smoke should enter the nostrils. Respect the O2 sats, motherfucker.

So I be in LLL, reading all this shit about motherfucker fucking bitches and getting money, and I’m thinking to myself. Why can’t I be fucking mad bitches if pimpin’ is easy? Money ain’t a thing, I’m broke now, but fuck that, money will come, it’s the bitches that concern me.

Going out to bars is like a fucking chore sometimes, and you have to put up with girls who must clearly get off on giving you a hard time. Because seriously, I walk up to honeys and be conversing and shit, and she be trying to give me the cold shoulder. But we both know I’m fucking awesome, so why is this girl putting up a front? Does she not like awesome? Does she hate herself? What the fuck? And then there’s the drunk aggravated motherfuckers… sweet mercy, does anyone have fun in these places?

Now, you might say, well if that’s not your scene, why not just stay home, invite some friends over and watch fucking reruns of Heroes and the Simpsons, and bomb ass anime like Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto and shit? Because, motherfucker, the need to have some external fun just lingers, like a dull yet persistent lower abdominal pain possibly caused by a herniation or bowel irritation.

It’s fucked up. Like some motherfuckers be roaming the scene slicing up poon like an atomic cutlass while others have to challenge Atalanta to a fucking footrace to get laid around here.

Now, I’m not up in here making the 143rd thread about how to get laid and shit. I’m just curious about the difference between the kind of motherfucker who can go out, get fucked up, mack some dames, do some insane/inane shit, then have a good story to post in LLL, and the kind of mothefucker, that just can’t do that shit.

Perhaps someone should post a guide to fun, like how they have all those other guides and shit. You know, since LLL became a self-help/circle jerkle forum type thing. Yeah. So guide to fun…

Go.

Otherwise, I guess non fun having motherfuckers will just have to keep gettin’ that money. And then purchase hooker time, perhaps.

2

Try a vaporizer for your weed, it won’t fuck your chest up as much if at all. A chem major should be able to make a decent one no problem. Ignor the cod science in the link, you can fill in the gaps yourself.

3

Sums up my life.

4

Learn to play a musical instrument and find people to jam with

That’s fun and can get chicks

5

Scrap booking my friend…hours and hours of scrap booking…every day…forever

6

Russian roulette?

7

Your trying to hard, stupid.

8

Hang out with friends and get a vaporizer for the weed, problems solved.

9

Well saturday I had a lot of fun. So I will just run down my night.

8:00PM, went to Woodstock pizza. Saw friends there, chilled out with them, ate and set a new high score at Marvel vs Capcom
9:00PM, Beer time. I had 3 liters of Sierra Pal Ale.group I was with had to get up early, saw other firends so I wondered over.
10:30PM, Group I was with was calling it a night so I thought I should to. Upon walking out I realized that I shouldnt be driving. I was gonna walk home and heard “HEY DOZER!” See some other friends and made my way accross the street. They said that they were gonna go see Inglorious Bastards, which is like a 3 hour movie. So I thought that would be a good way to sober up.
10:35PM, at the theater in line. I meantion that my roommate really wants to see this movie. My buddy Matt mentions that I should text him and see if he wants to come. To which I respound with “Oh, I will text him…Mwha ha ha ah” The text I sent: “I am going to go see imblorious bastards and you is a bitch! Mwha!”.
1:20AM, just saw awesome movie and am walking back to my car. Was wearing UFC shirt and another guy comes up to me and tells me couture lost. I totally sadfaced. but he said it was hard fought and it went all the way. So I hugged him and went on.
1:30AM, I finally find my damn car. I get in and go, windows down cause its hot. Sweet Home Alabama comes on while I am at a red light. I bust out with air guitar, drumming on the steering wheel and singing along loudly. Smilign I turn and look at the car next to me…Cops. Hands go immediatly to 10 and 2, radio turned down, eyes straight forward.
1:40AM, get hom, fall asleep.
6:00AM, get up…Its time for church.

10

Fixed that for you.

It takes a lot of salt out of giving somebody shit if your grammar is that fucked up, dude.

And Qdot, I give this shit a 4 outta 10. You can’t expect me to believe you’re this socially inept.

What you’re looking for is social fun, which is a lot trickier than the kind of fun that you’re used to having. A few people over, movies, stuff that’s limited to your immediate social circle.

Social fun, as in going out, is a whole other ball game and is a lot more like a blood sport than any kind of enjoyable thing. There’s rules, there’s opportunities to fail and there’s generally a lot of stuff you’re not going to like much.

So why do it?

I honestly can’t answer that because I don’t like that sort of thing.

In fact, I do my best to avoid going out Friday or Saturday in this city. It’s like fucking animal planet out there. Everybody wandering around overloaded on hormones and booze and there’s this pungent scent of desperation in the very air you breathe. It sucks.

If you avoid the stereotypical social events that the masses know about, you’ll avoid most of what aggravates you about the masses. And in addition, the people you meet will have a statistically higher chance of being the sort you’d want to hang out, converse with and take to your bed. Or there’s, I suppose.

Now, first off, I want to know how old you are. Because that makes a difference. There’s a level of comfort you get when you get to know yourself better that takes the internal pressure people put on themselves to go out and do stuff because, you know, everybody else is and what’s my fucking problem?

I don’t feel that pressure much anymore. And I remember from repeated experiences that every time I yielded to that pressure and went out anyway and tried to make shit happen I had a miserable time.

So now I don’t bother unless there’s a special thing going that seems tailored to my interests. And then I just go out and relax and if shit happens it happens.

So that brings me to my next question, what are the options where you’re at for outside the box events? It doesn’t have to be something you think you’ll like off the bat, but a social event where strangers gather that doesn’t involve the club or the bar? Is there anything like that? It would be a good start I think.

And also, what do you really want? Because you keep coming back to the central themes of “get the bitches.”

So what’s the deal here? Let’s get down to the bedrock, if you want that wine dutty then man up and say that shit. You know what I mean?

Or do you just want anecdotes of the last time we had fun? Cause I can do that too. Then you can compare and contrast. Because seriously dude, I can’t remember the last time I picked up a girl in a bar and it ended up being a good idea. In fact I haven’t done that in a long time.

11

A proper Q-dog thread!!!

Awesome!!!

Fetches vodka and juice, lights fatty, gets popcorn, sits down to enjoy!!

12

4 is harsh, man. This is worth at least 7.

I’m not socially inept at all, I just don’t manage to have the kind of fun that some other motherfuckers seem to be having. I something missing from the Q-baller’s life these days? Like WTF?

What you’re looking for is social fun, which is a lot trickier than the kind of fun that you’re used to having. A few people over, movies, stuff that’s limited to your immediate social circle.

I be doing that shit from time to time, you know.

Social fun, as in going out, is a whole other ball game and is a lot more like a blood sport than any kind of enjoyable thing. There’s rules, there’s opportunities to fail and there’s generally a lot of stuff you’re not going to like much.

So why do it?

Why indeed? Perhaps because it brings some excitement makes good stories and shit? I dunno. I mean, what ze fuck, I was kickin’ it at my crib with some cats and munching some pizza while peepin’ the latest volumes of Shingetsutan Tsukihime, nah mean? Because after all, there will be lots of time for chillin’ and shit, so I figure I could use some young wild years like them other cats.

I honestly can’t answer that because I don’t like that sort of thing.

In fact, I do my best to avoid going out Friday or Saturday in this city. It’s like fucking animal planet out there. Everybody wandering around overloaded on hormones and booze and there’s this pungent scent of desperation in the very air you breathe. It sucks.

Yeah, it sounds fucked up. But it’s the same reason motherfuckers like playing games like Fallout 3 and shit. The post apocalypse era is intriguing, motherfuckers like to prowl the wasteland and run the shit. Perhaps there is some perverse pleasure in being Lord of the Flies/Underworld, or at least surviving there.

Now, first off, I want to know how old you are. Because that makes a difference. There’s a level of comfort you get when you get to know yourself better that takes the internal pressure people put on themselves to go out and do stuff because, you know, everybody else is and what’s my fucking problem?

Q-ball has been rockin’ this planet for 23 years. The planet wants more, more and more.

So that brings me to my next question, what are the options where you’re at for outside the box events? It doesn’t have to be something you think you’ll like off the bat, but a social event where strangers gather that doesn’t involve the club or the bar? Is there anything like that? It would be a good start I think.

And also, what do you really want? Because you keep coming back to the central themes of “get the bitches.”

So what’s the deal here? Let’s get down to the bedrock, if you want that wine dutty then man up and say that shit. You know what I mean?

Not necessarily to be slayin’ bitches like a fucking serial killer and shit, just to be cutting loose and what not. I mean, you can always pay for that shit, although some would say it’s always better to get it the free way, like van Wyck.
We’re looking for fucked up shit and wild behavior that makes life interesting. Complete contrast to the reserved, calm, bookish shit that cats are used to.

Or do you just want anecdotes of the last time we had fun? Cause I can do that too. Then you can compare and contrast. Because seriously dude, I can’t remember the last time I picked up a girl in a bar and it ended up being a good idea. In fact I haven’t done that in a long time.

That’ll work too.
Q-dizzy ain’t never picked up honey in bars, because bitches in bars don’t be acting right. And sometimes I think they’re retarded, but that could just be cause they been drinking all night.

13

I’ll go as high as 5 1/2, okay?

Make some insane friends. It really helps bring that added element of chaos to the table.

Fair enough. I don’t know what to tell you. Trouble just finds you, ya know. Hang out in the rough part of town, go do something insane.

Go someplace you probably have no business being.

Any drag bars down your way? That’s always good for a fun time.

Oh believe me, I get it. I get it very well. I wanted to know why YOU were after it. If it’s just for the experience than you want to consciously seek it. Every time you plan an event or an outing, trying to find some element of crazy to go with it. Invite the lunatic that drinks too much, hit on the girl that looks like trouble.

That’ll help.

Well seeing as you’re still alive, I guess I can’t argue that point with you. But you’ve got time for the crazy, I guess.

[quote=The Question;2207513]Not necessarily to be slayin’ bitches like a fucking serial killer and shit, just to be cutting loose and what not. I mean, you can always pay for that shit, although some would say it’s always better to get it the free way, like van Wyck.
We’re looking for fucked up shit and wild behavior that makes life interesting. Complete contrast to the reserved, calm, bookish shit that cats are used to.[/quote]

You need to meet crazier people. Haven’t you met any lunatics while fighting? There’s gotta be some.

[quote=The Question;2207513]That’ll work too.
Q-dizzy ain’t never picked up honey in bars, because bitches in bars don’t be acting right. And sometimes I think they’re retarded, but that could just be cause they been drinking all night.[/quote]

It’s a blend of both.

14

Truth on drag bars…

<waits for London bullies>

15

[quote=Squerlli;2207713]Truth on drag bars…

<waits for London bullies>[/quote]

When I was 20 I was dating this actress.

I wasn’t that into her but I was coming off nearly a year long dry-spell due to various reasons.

So even though she was self-absorbed, spoiled and not that interesting looking I just sort of went with it.

She went to an acting school in New York City that’s got not the best reputation as being able to turn out working professionals, but they do produce an awful lot of waitresses. Regardless, they still operate at a reasonable capacity as far as I know.

Now if you’ve never dated an actress or performer before, I’d just say tread carefully. That dream draws a lot of insufferable people to its ranks.

So one day, I think I’d already hit it by this point. Actually I think we’d even been dating for a month or two. So she tells me she wants me to come with her, her roomate a woman, and her roomate’s friend (a gay man). So cool, I’m down right? And I haven’t really learned to see these landmines coming.

What are we doing, hon?

Oh, we’re gonna go to this drag show.

Huh. Okay. I mean I grew up in New York City. This is my home and I’ve seen way weirder shit than a dude in a dress. Sounds like a good time. Apparently they dress up like 50’s pinups and starlets and whatnot and prance around lip syncing. So we head over to this spot in the West Village.

We roll in there and suddenly it occurs to me that this isn’t just a drag show.

It’s a gay bar.

Which happens to have a drag show on this one night of the week.

Not that big a deal actually but it does present some interesting opportunities to get fucking hassled. By everybody. Especially when you’re a 20 year old guy who’s obviously straight and has long hair. There were long tables set up and there was a sweet sixteen part two tables over. 20 girls there with on 16 year old guy and one of the girls uncle’s.

You guessed it. Her gay uncle. Of course, because really, why not?

And the dude with them I was sure had just about the best plan for meeting women without competition on planet earth until I saw him talking and moving around and then I realized that he’s the only one in the room who probably doesn’t know he’s gay yet.

So there’s guy the size of a line-backer in a dress up on stage, who’s taking turns finding anything male in the audience and telling that poor fucker all about the pantie-creaming reaction they got when they walked in.

“In fact I’m wetter than niagra falls right now, honey.”

Oh fuck.

But it’s all in good fun, the table full of girls on their birthday party seemed to have a good time. Meanwhile I hung onto that girl of mine pretty damn tight because it became clear once the show started that there was a fair amount of audience participation demanded.

Well, there weren’t so much demands as the cute little Puerto Rican drag queen dressed up like Rita Moreno doing a West Side Story tune and grinding her ass into the lap of the aforementioned 16 year old boy in the sweet sixteen party.

Thankfully I was spared that. I mean, the show was funny, but that glitter can be really hard to clean off once it gets all over you.

I mean, I guess. It must be. Right?

16

Did you go to “Lips”? It sounds different.

I went to Lips once with 3 of my coworkers and had a 6’3 tranny shove her… his… whatever, it’s implants in my face. Good times.

My boss, a short Puerto Rican former body builder who at 5’6 is wider in the chest then he is tall got MOLESTED by ALL the cross dressers.

Lol, also the first place I tried Sam Adams, seemed fitting.

17

You are the world’s worst Jamaican.

Anyway, you should get a dog. They’re fun, and women will see you on the street and want to pet your dog.

18

Let me just sum up JP’s first post. There are two things you need if you want to carve a swath through womankind with your dick.

The first is confidence. Straight women are attracted to confident men. I don’t mean braggadocio either, which is most likely what you are substituting for confidence right now.

The second is to honestly not give a fuck whether you get laid. Go out to have a good time. Do not expect to hook up, even when it looks like it might happen.

Now go watch the movie called “The Tao of Steve”, but remember to forget all the games when you’re ready to get serious with someone.

19

[quote=jnp;2209974]There are two things you need if you want to carve a swath through womankind with your dick.

The first is money.

The second is to live in a country where prostitution is legal.[/quote]

Fixed.

20

Why would prostitutes need to be legal?