How do you run a fightclub?

Hello, here’s the deal. I am organizing a fight club match, and it it will take place in my friends basement/ family room. Normally, the room is crowded with furniture, however we had moved the chairs out of the way and padded the t.v to so it won’t break. We also padded the hard floors and walls somewhat with several thick layers of carpeting and bubblewrap. We also added tape for stability and good springs that make the floor bounce to some extent. I am thinking about adding wooden stakes into the padding to interfer with movement. Here are the two sole fighters:

  1. Name: The Flying Douchebag ( his nickname)
    Height: About 6-0
    Weight: About 155lbs
    Physical Features: Caucasian in shirt ninja mask
    Build: Athletic
    Fighting Style: Claims to be a master in a dozen arts. Known arts are Tai chi, Yellow Bamboo, Boxercise, and Streetfighting.
    Comments when questioned about this fight: " No one can beat be me!!! I’m to fast and to drunk to even be remotely harmed, #$%#!!@!!! "

  2. Name: James " Crusher" Jerome
    Height: About 4-2
    Weight: About 60lbs.
    Physical Features: Caucasian with very little hair.
    Build: Very Lean, perhaps puny
    Fighting style: Boxing, Wrestling, TSD, TKD, Judo, Jujutsu, Karate, Savate, and Sumo.
    Comments when questioned about this fight: " Grrr… yes Grrrrr."

Yes, they are real people. They were fooling around when commented. The rules of the fight are " No groin shots, no bites, no eye gouge, no timid behavior, no ignoring the ref, and no running away. Fish hooking is allowed, and so is headbutts and any unarmed combat method not listed. You can win by submission, knock out, ref stoppage, and disqualification. We try to avoid injuries, but if one happens, you will be dropped off at a hospital and left for yourself." A select few people will be able to watch the fight and the fight will be filmed. It is a bareknuckle fight with striking and grappling. My friends parents, who own the house, don’t know about the fight yet. We plan to tell them on the day of the fight.

I was just wondering if you had any suggestions for this fight. I can post it on this site the day we film it. I call this fightclub the USC, the Ultimate Slap fighting Championship.

I think the first rule of fight club is that you do not run it in your parents’ basement.

“I think the first rule of fight club is that you do not run it in your parents’ basement.”
Damn good thing that it isn’t my basement.

Damn kids

The first rule about fight club is you don’t talk about fight club.

Second rule don’t be an dumb pop cultured troll. Read the book by Chuck P.

-Brian

What does the P. in Chuck P. stand for.

Phallus.

If you have to ask how to run a fight club, then you are not ready to run one.

“But how do I get ready?”

You train. Hard. After a while you’ll see what your instructor does and then you can kind of mimic him. But by that time you’ll realize that only fighting trained people gives satisfaction and fighting some friends who are clueless about fighting isn’t.

I serioulsy doubt your second friend has trained in all those styles. If he has, it must have been a month a piece or something.

Because like I said “you’ll realize that only fighting trained people gives satisfaction and fighting some friends who are clueless about fighting isn’t.” so he wouldn’t want to fight you or your first friend.

PL

Palahniuk.

If you’re serious about the guy being 4 2 and 60 pounds, I’m assuming he’s some sort of little person, in which case, make damn sure he’s medically fit for jackass shit. (which is what this sounds like)

sumo @ 60lbd

::waves wtf flag::

u said ur gunna tape it and make sure u put it on here cuz i have a feeling this is gunna be funny as all heLL!

Shouldn’t this be trollshidoed so we don’t have to look at it?

It’s so very sad.

Yes, have this thread taken out and shot.

Ever notice how Fight Clubis one of those rare situations where the movie is better than the book?

YES YOU KNOW THE MOVIE WAS BETTER!

A kid at my place runs one in his basement, parents dont seem to mind.

I’ve competed in it like once or twice. I was called a “faggot” for leg kicking a kid and having him call a timeout because he said it was illegal, I think it was because it hurt but whatever.

They also called my friend a “faggot” for shooting and taking one down and doing a kneebar.

I still like going to watch them though, nothing better than seeing kids who can’t fight beat each other senseless.

Get some real training, and do it under the watch of people who actually know how to fight.

Pack your bags folks… we’re off to Trolllshido!

This is what I mean. It’s NOT fun to watch morons do stupid things. It’s a complete waste of time. I’d rather hit the bag than show a bunch of kids that my dick is bigger than theirs.

If I were you KM, I’d just go to the next one, systematically beat the shit ouf of every last one of the fuckers, take their shoes, and leave.

PL

From what I have seen in my short but enjoyable time on this board…
In order to run a fight club you need to:

  1. Have it in the backyard, basements are to easy
  2. Do not cut the grass
  3. Have a rusty piece of shit lawnmower in the middle of the yard
  4. Have a clothesline running through the yard- metal lines preffered
  5. Have an old tin shed in the yard.
  6. Rank yourself # 1 in the club
  7. Make sure at least some of the members are certified “gangsters”

Now that you are set, make sure everyone is under the age of 16 and close your eyes when you throw a punch.

Then post every single video you have on the site (at least 10 of them), even if no one can understand what is being said or what is going on-

Good Luck, look forward to seeing them-

Oh, come on, it wasn’t all just the shooting and leg kicking. They also saw you guys kissing. Admit it, it’s OK.

Now I am not one to complain but in TROLLSHIDO header, enjoyes is actually spelled enjoys
Probably an oversight but thought you may wnat to know-

[sarcasm]Use knives and have them fight to the death. Be sure to post video.[/sarcasm]