So there I was…at the same club in the same city I mentioned in another thread…sitting on a bar stool in front of the big window by the main entrance when I spot this 50+ yr old hooker drunkingly staring at me as she quickly made her way across the club by skipping and dragging one leg. I was amazed at how fast she was coming at me and like watching a train wreck, I froze in amusement. Her and her daughter were strippers at one of the worst strip clubs in Tacoma called The Players club. Guys would be seen leaving this place screaming and trying to gouge out their eyes with the dollar bills that they brought to shower these freaks of nature with.
By the time I realized what she was doing it was almost too late. She blurted something that sounded like “Earn more sessions by sleaving!” and then dove butt first towards my lap. At the last moment I moved off of the stool allowing her to sit down, but as she sat her greasy ass on an already spinning stool, it skipped her off like a flat rock and sent her sailing through the picture window behind it.
I tried to help her up, but thats a little hard when you don’t want to catch something from all those tiny cuts all over her now wrinkled body. She blamed me ofcourse, but no one was buying it. We offered to call the paramedics to check her out. She didn’t want help from a piece of shit like me so her daughter took her home in a cab, covered up like a mummy in dirty bar towels holding a complimentary bottle of water that the owner sayd she had earned for thoroughly entertaining him for the next month.
Smoke bombs
Bear mace motherfucker
so you slapped a pinay around for foreplay, been there done that.
tough little women arent they?
[quote=Lebell;2137271]so you slapped a pinay around for foreplay, been there done that.
tough little women arent they?[/quote]
Hahahahahahah…um…yes they are…
Quit going there.
“Nobody on this block can swallow paste the way I can!”
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What’s that club that says “100’s of beautiful women and 3 ugly ones”?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives… This advice works for almost everything, watch:
Can’t find a decent woman?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Keep getting into fights?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Money go mysteriously missing from your pockets?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
The bouncers in a venue scare you more than the drunken punters?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Scared of being mugged or raped, or mugraped?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Think you’ve probably caught some fatal or disfiguring STD from standing near the skanks at the bar?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
In mortal fear of getting killed during the journey home after a night out?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
You’re no fun at all!
[quote=Lu Tze;2137276]Don’t hang around in fucking dives… This advice works for almost everything, watch:
Can’t find a decent woman?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Keep getting into fights?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Money go mysteriously missing from your pockets?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
The bouncers in a venue scare you more than the drunken punters?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Scared of being mugged or raped, or mugraped?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Think you’ve probably caught some fatal or disfiguring STD from standing near the skanks at the bar?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
In mortal fear of getting killed during the journey home after a night out?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.[/quote]
Missed one:
Afraid you’ll become a fucktard that hangs around in dives?
Don’t hang around in fucking dives.
Hey, no denying those places can be fun! I’m just saying don’t complain about it when shit happens, because… what the fuck did you expect!?
In some places, dives are all there is.
It depends what your goals are. I am of the school that says if you want to get good at something, you should train with Professionals.
Drinking from 1st orders to last is a contact sport! Train with people who know what they’re doing.
Damn weekend warriors!
[quote=jnp;2137282]In some places, dives are all there is.[/quote]In that case, buy a black metal breastplate with a skull painted on it, and an assortment of automatic weapons and then clean the vermin out of that town.
Alternatively, save some money by not going out as often, then splash out by going further afield. Where it’s not a, y’know, shithole.
[quote=War Wheel;2137275]“Nobody on this block can swallow paste the way I can!”
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What’s that club that says “100’s of beautiful women and 3 ugly ones”?[/quote]
HA! No that was called Dejavu. The Players Club was the one across from Ft. Lewis.
And as far as hanging out in dives goes, in some towns there is nothing else. I think I heard that somewhere.
Drink more beer until the nastiness goes away.
Ask how much she charges for you to give her a Cleveland steamer, if she quotes you a price, gladly hop up and exclaim, “WAIT HERE!!! I will be back in two hours, I am off to gorge myself at the all you can eat Mexican buffet”
If it doesnt work, at least you can have an experience that you can tell your grandchildren.
There duth exist and nast that is so nasty, the nastyness cannot be reduced by any amount of liquid courage… or lack of getting laid.
If in some town there is nothing else, the whole town is a dive, move on.
[quote=Zapruder;2137306]Ask how much she charges for you to give her a Cincinnati bow tie, if she quotes you a price, gladly hop up and exclaim, “WAIT HERE!!! I will be back in two hours, I am off to gorge myself at the all you can eat Mexican buffet”
If it doesnt work, at least you can have an experience that you can tell your grandchildren.[/quote]
Dude, that is the nastiest thing I’ve read all week.
- rep for you