Hall OF Shame--Moment Of Bullshido Purity

[romba_one]

For me:
After about 10 beers one summer night in 2004 or 2005 at a BBQ, I was reluctantly “sparring” a guy in another friends back yard. Basicly he heard I was a former Aikidoist and he thought he could “punk” me the way he claimed he had “punked” as he put it, so many other MAist. It was several years of my Aikido and Combat Hapkido (stop laughing) vs. his Ninpo and JuJutsu which he was training obsessivly many hours a day almost every day.
I got slapped and punched at first when I was tring to walk away knowing this could get well out of hand. Then I decided (maybe it was the beer that decided) I was not going to let this be a one sided demonstration of his “skills”. We traded some lazy (drunken) punches and he switched to try and grab me for a throw. I broke free and backed him up a bit with some strikes and push kicks, steped in and half tripped half threw him to the ground with a crappy kokyu nage. I some how ended up with an arm around his neck while behind him (this is before I knew how to RNC), and him trying ineffectively to elbow my groin.
We stopped at that point after another friend; who’s house it was, knew it was going to go beyond what the Ning3r had billed as “sparring”. It was after another few drinks and Mr. Ninpo’s insitance how awsome Ninpo/ninjitsu and his Jujutsu (JJJ) was and how I should fight him at his dojo and come learn the “only real martial arts there is”, that I hit a low point in my martial arts hobby. I became some what introspective while I pretended to listen to this pitch for how great Ninpo was.

I realized:
My Aikido would be too complex for a real fight, not to mention one where I had been drinking before hand. My go to move that night was some basic trips (kokyunage) I learned in aikido class, and modified in Combat Hapkido. What I did was nothing like the shiho nage I had so very much loved, nor was it any of the wrist locks I’d drilled for years. I had years of training with little to show or use when it came down to it.
As I had suspected before and come to conclude, Ueshiba was crazy and treated with too much respect by his students, not many questioned him. The old man was or may have been a badass, but I needed something that could work for me. Riding on Ueshiba’s nuts was not some thing I could live with. I wanted some thing that was real and I could use…that I could make work not something that was theroized to work. I decided then and there, drunk as hell, I’d try this grappling or BJJ I’d heard so much about. Now I’m pretty happy doing BJJ, and plan on doing it for some time to come.

[curveros]

@romba_one

For me:
After about 10 beers one summer night in 2004 or 2005 at a BBQ, I was reluctantly “sparring” a guy in another friends back yard. Basicly he heard I was a former Aikidoist and he thought he could “punk” me the way he claimed he had “punked” as he put it, so many other MAist. It was several years of my Aikido and Combat Hapkido (stop laughing) vs. his Ninpo and JuJutsu which he was training obsessivly many hours a day almost every day.
I got slapped and punched at first when I was tring to walk away knowing this could get well out of hand. Then I decided (maybe it was the beer that decided) I was not going to let this be a one sided demonstration of his “skills”. We traded some lazy (drunken) punches and he switched to try and grab me for a throw. I broke free and backed him up a bit with some strikes and push kicks, steped in and half tripped half threw him to the ground with a crappy kokyu nage. I some how ended up with an arm around his neck while behind him (this is before I knew how to RNC), and him trying ineffectively to elbow my groin.
We stopped at that point after another friend; who’s house it was, knew it was going to go beyond what the Ning3r had billed as “sparring”. It was after another few drinks and Mr. Ninpo’s insitance how awsome Ninpo/ninjitsu and his Jujutsu (JJJ) was and how I should fight him at his dojo and come learn the “only real martial arts there is”, that I hit a low point in my martial arts hobby. I became some what introspective while I pretended to listen to this pitch for how great Ninpo was.

I realized:
My Aikido would be too complex for a real fight, not to mention one where I had been drinking before hand. My go to move that night was some basic trips (kokyunage) I learned in aikido class, and modified in Combat Hapkido. What I did was nothing like the shiho nage I had so very much loved, nor was it any of the wrist locks I’d drilled for years. I had years of training with little to show or use when it came down to it.
As I had suspected before and come to conclude, Ueshiba was crazy and treated with too much respect by his students, not many questioned him. The old man was or may have been a badass, but I needed something that could work for me. Riding on Ueshiba’s nuts was not some thing I could live with. I wanted some thing that was real and I could use…that I could make work not something that was theroized to work. I decided then and there, drunk as hell, I’d try this grappling or BJJ I’d heard so much about. Now I’m pretty happy doing BJJ, and plan on doing it for some time to come.

what part of wisconsin you in? i’m in milwaukee

[Necroth]

15 years old, Shotokan and Okinawa-te (as relayed to me by instructor, couldn’t tell the difference between that and a paper bag at the time) training has been commenced for nigh on a year. I am challenged in English class…well, not challenged so much as maligned by a very moody football player. Quarterback. I am a linebacker. I’m bigger and stronger, surely I can beat him.

Wrong.

We postpone the festivities until 8th period (this was 7th period English, 8th was Athletics/Football practice) and decide to do-tha-damn-thing in locker room. I change into athletic gear, he is still in t-shirt and cargo pants. Again, things are looking up for me, as my d34dly k1ckz are unleashable in breathable cotton shorts! Yay!

Wrong.

He pushes me, I push him, he punches my face. I fall. He sits on me and punches half-heartedly until I shove him over and stand. I punch him when he stands. A screw punch from the hip. It should have broken his bamboo armor, just as the Okinawan fighting forms have done for centuries against Samurai in blah blah blahblahblah. Again I am floored and punched and that’s the end of that.

I ditched Shotokan, tried Choy Li Fut Kung Fu a year os so later. It sucked too. In the military I trained with some Kodokan Judoka, very fun but I saw very little useage at the time as they only ever trained throws with gi and little else. Trained with Tomiki Aikidoka (their assertion, I couldn’t have told you if they really were) but they were too busy lauding Randori and training compliant throws. I thought it was decidedly useless.

Took some years off from actual training, deciding to research MA as a whole to look for something less TMA Bullshido, more useful and enjoyable. In 2001 found Muay Thai. And then BJJ, especially no-gi grappling. Have never looked back.

hangs head in shame for remembering that moment when he learned that all those movies weren’t real…such a sad day for me…and Chuck Norris

[Black_6]

@Khun Kao

Milton

Nope, not the dude. The one I knew was named Leonard.

It actually kind of worries me that there is more than one guy like this.

[Black_6]

@Zaii

…and so one day six months into my stint with bujinkan training, our instructor took us out to the woods for “stealth”. Up to this point I had been collecting various doubts over time as to the validity of the “art”. A ridiculous stance here, poorly used and out of context japanese, a counter-intuitive strike there, and most of all the fact that when they paired me up with the guy in the class who had about 100 lbs on me, 99% of the material failed to work remotely, I still hadn’t closed the book on it altogether, as I’d never taken another martial art, and hey, the breakfalls were practical…right?

For the first hour we all spent the time( I kid you not) literally playing hide and go seek, with the instructor as the seeker…but ofcourse it all had a very serious and “mystical” bearing, according to him.

The second hour consisted of learning how to throw hollow eggs full of baby powder at each other, which he lumped under metsubushi. Now, I’m sure the common sense act of “pick it up - then throw it” has been in pretty much every culture, but when I asked the instructor how this would ever come into use for me, as I couldn’t think of a situation where I’d have the time, materials, or motivation to fashion and carry hollow powder-filled eggs, he launched into a diatribe about appreciation of culture, and expecting the unexpected, and added at the end a tid bit about how I could “use these same techniques with dirt, gravel, or (in his attempt to be ‘hip’) a beer bottle”, to which I queried, “then why aren’t we using dirt or gravel?”, at which point he abruptly changed the subject.

The third hour was when my logic finally emerged victorious from the massive pile of bullshit I had been burying it under for the last six months. For a while we were doing what he called randori, but what was more like pretending to be power rangers out in the woods, as we were “freely sparring” but all clearly holding back, as we had been trained to do. There was a lot of flipping, and it was kind of fun honestly, in that it was cool to be a 5 year old again for a few minutes, but it became utterly absurd when I was paired with an 11 year old kid, and I realized that we were all kidding ourselves.

The sweet icing on the cake (or nail in the coffin, whichever one floats your boat) was when the instructor disappeared into the woods, then re-emerged in his “full historical outfit”, head to toe draped in black, with tabi and what amounted to a glorified ski mask. Some small part of me wanted to believe that I hadn’t just wasted six months of my life and over half a thousand dollars on complete and total role playing, so instead of leaving, I tried to participate in what happened next, which the only fitting words for are downright fucking ridiculous.

He had everyone in the class surround him, and then once he had gotten into his “crane stance”, he encouraged us to “attack at will”. At this point, in typical kung fu movie style, we came at him one at a time, with large, swooping, sloppy overhand rights (I like to call this “the redneck right hook”) or awkward crescent kicks, he proceeded to “dispatch” us in a dominating fashion. After he had thoroughly established his knowledge of deadly fighting technique, he invited us to all attack him at once. You can fill in the rest.

It’s funny, because in dojo that I first trained in, we also went out to the woods to do some training. You have to realize that this was New York City, so when I say “woods” I mean Prospect Park, which is in Brooklyn.

Anyway, we also did he stealth training (walking and crawling). I actually found this useful later in Ranger School during the recon training missions.

We didn’t do metsubushi. Learned a couple of good things, though, like screams don’t carry well in the woods, which is why we carried whistles in case of injury.

However, we did do sentry take out, which was a bit like what I would later do when I went to the academy. However, for a lot of my training that day, I was paired up a friend of mine who was a Marine Scout Sniper. Let’s just say that he was already good at a lot of stuff.

Anyway, I’m practicing getting behind him and taking him to the ground, and as I do it, he sees a group of people nearby, and decides to start making noises for help (I had my hand over his mouth, so it was muffled screams). Thank goodness that area of Brooklyn was mostly Italian (and therefore people were more in tune to violence by that group). If we had been in Central Park, black guy jumping a white guy would have probably gotten me beaten by bystanders.

[Tinkebell]

I used to do some wing chun, Bill Cheung lineage I think, with some other stuff (don’t ask me about it now). I’d done a few years of boxing and kickboxing, as well as about 5 years of judo by this time. I went because it was walking distance from my house, cheap and was a nice light workout after dinner.

One night while walking home in the dark after a wing shun session I was startled by a wombat crashing out of the scrub onto the road (I live near the boundary of a few thousand square kms of state forest) and went into some kind of horse riding stance with wing chun center defence hand positions.

I was so ashamed.

[Necroth]

_ing _un stories are always so funny. They often involve wild animals and being ashamed. It takes a big man to admit when a wild animal scares the _ing _un out of him.

[Tinkebell]

I’ve seen wombats take out a car, they’re a force to be rekonned with.

Many men aspire to be like them here, because all a wombat does is eat, roots and leaves.

[Zaii]

@Black 6

It’s funny, because in dojo that I first trained in, we also went out to the woods to do some training. You have to realize that this was New York City, so when I say “woods” I mean Prospect Park, which is in Brooklyn.

Anyway, we also did he stealth training (walking and crawling). I actually found this useful later in Ranger School during the recon training missions.

We didn’t do metsubushi. Learned a couple of good things, though, like screams don’t carry well in the woods, which is why we carried whistles in case of injury.

However, we did do sentry take out, which was a bit like what I would later do when I went to the academy. However, for a lot of my training that day, I was paired up a friend of mine who was a Marine Scout Sniper. Let’s just say that he was already good at a lot of stuff.

Anyway, I’m practicing getting behind him and taking him to the ground, and as I do it, he sees a group of people nearby, and decides to start making noises for help (I had my hand over his mouth, so it was muffled screams). Thank goodness that area of Brooklyn was mostly Italian (and therefore people were more in tune to violence by that group). If we had been in Central Park, black guy jumping a white guy would have probably gotten me beaten by bystanders.

Please tell me you’re joking.

[Aikicat]

Was messing around with a friend after one Aikido class. We were just doing throws from a 2 handed grab on the shoulders. After class, buddy basically grabbed and held. I attempted the usual techniques. He muscled through them. He then tried to throw me himself. I did some funky things with my feet that was worlds away from Aikido footwork, and kind of half-stayed on my feet. He then grabbed me in an old skool bear hug and we went to the ground, where we wrassled’ for a few minutes, neither knowing what the other is doing. I finally got him with a self improvised RNC, where I didn’t even get my hooks in or placed my chocking hand on my bicep. Just kinda clamped on his neck and squeezed untill he stoped twitching and struggling.

Years of Aikido training really kicked ass there. I figured if my Aikido was gonna look like that, I might as well just cut out the middle man and go straight to MMA.

On a bit of an unrelated note, had an Aikido buddy say Aikido will not work in the octagon/ring because you’re in a limited area and have no room to back up. Apparantly Aikido will only work on a large football field, or in the Sahara dessert.

[NasalInfection]

Err Aikido is close circle fighting designed for tight areas without a lot of lateral movement. Your buddy is on crack. Aikido as it is practiced today has many issues with working in MMA but that is not one of them.

[Lebell]

I dont have silly stories like you guys because i am cool.
I have a mildly funny and shamefull story: one time during judo some guy ripped my judo pants and i was on a full tatami in my shorts.
so uhm…yeah…that was it basically.

I never get into bs like my style vs yours, or backyard brawling etc.
thats for kids.

[DayOfTheJackass]

weird the aikido i’ve done is just full of lateral and oblique footwork

[Lebell]

Aikido…LOL!!!eleven!!1!!!

[romba_one]

@curveros

what part of wisconsin you in? i’m in milwaukee

Yeah…I’m also in Milwaukee. What MA school do you go to?

[blackirish]

I had a similar revelation when my granddad (a Golden Gloves regional finalist) pimp slapped me after I had trained for 10 years (7 to 17) in Goju and TKD. He was 57 at the time. He landed three shots before I landed one.

[Packinghouse_Du]

I was a young missionary just out from the MTC a few months when my companion and I were farting around in the mission home. I was telling him about some Van Damme move that I knew I could do and if he didn’t stop hassling me, I’d have to use it on him. He laughed and asked what it was. I told him to grab one of my feet and hold it up in the air and I would show him. He did it, and I tried to do one of them flashy crescent kicks I saw in a movie.

To make a long story short, I fell flat on my ass with a loud thump that had the nurse, the mission president and his assistants come running. My face was red, and it didn’t take long for me to start laughing as hard as my companion. That was the day when I realized that all my karate kid and Van Damme moves I thought would work, wouldn’t, and I was in for a rude awakening if I ever tried them on T3h Str33t.

[curveros]

@romba_one

Yeah…I’m also in Milwaukee. What MA school do you go to?

i’m about to start going to:

http://www.henrymatamoros.com/home.htm

do you know this school?

[romba_one]

@curveros

i’m about to start going to:

http://www.henrymatamoros.com/home.htm

do you know this school?

I know of a few people that have trained there and I think I went to high school with some of the people on his “list of students”. I’ve never been there, though most of the people I train with have gone in for open mat… at least that’s what I’ve heard. Have fun. If you are on the East side you may want to check out ‘Neutral Ground’. It is a newer school from what I understand, and I started there back in December. I like it, I think it is more expensive than Matamoros (I’m told) due to location.

Later

[curveros]

@romba_one

I know of a few people that have trained there and I think I went to high school with some of the people on his “list of students”. I’ve never been there, though most of the people I train with have gone in for open mat… at least that’s what I’ve heard. Have fun. If you are on the East side you may want to check out ‘Neutral Ground’. It is a newer school from what I understand, and I started there back in December. I like it, I think it is more expensive than Matamoros (I’m told) due to location.

Later

i’ll google neutral ground. matamoros is $80.00 per month. (as far as i know). but henry, i believe, is a good guy and a good instructor. yes, i am on the east side near lake michigan.