This thread reminded me to start this topic which is a question I’ve been wondering for a while (hey, I think about a lot of weird shit :p) - this is a question directed at heterosexuals in particular.
Would you feel uncomfortable grappling/rolling with a homosexual of the same sex as yourself; and if so would it be any more or less so than grappling/rolling with a heterosexual of the opposite sex?
Back when I was learning the Chun there was an openly gay guy who was training at that club. His sexuality didn’t bother anyone and everyone was perfectly comfortable training with him. I’d assume that’d be the same case for most striking arts. In grappling arts the physical contact is far more intimate and it can certainly be awkward training with a person of the opposite sex (especially when accidental boob-contact occurs). Would this awkwardness be amplified or lessened when training with a homosexual of the same sex?
Would your BJJ/Judo/SAMBO/wrestling club happily accept a homosexual member? If someone ‘came out’ to his fellow club members, do you think other club members would be reluctant to roll with him?
Since I asked the question I’ll be the first to answer:
I don’t really think I’d have a problem with it. Hell I’d probably feel more comfortable grappling with a gay male than a straight female simply because I don’t have to worry about the boob-contact issue (which can be extremely fucking awkward). I reckon that when people are sparring, any sexual thoughts pertaining to the physical closeness of the activity are overridden by the competetive, combat element of the activity; so I wouldn’t be concerned that a gay dude would be ‘enjoying’ being in my guard or triangle-choke, lol.
[quote=Rask;2090354]Since I asked the question I’ll be the first to answer:
I don’t really think I’d have a problem with it. Hell I’d probably feel more comfortable grappling with a gay male than a straight female simply because I don’t have to worry about the boob-contact issue (which can be extremely fucking awkward). I reckon that when people are sparring, any sexual thoughts pertaining to the physical closeness of the activity are overridden by the competetive, combat element of the activity; so I wouldn’t be concerned that a gay dude would be ‘enjoying’ being in my guard or triangle-choke, lol.[/quote]
Dude you missed the joke.
I don’t give a shit what the sexual orientation of the person is.
Don’t care either way. Have lots of gay friends, never had a problem with them, there to learn and roll.
I still do feel a little awkward trying to pry my hands between boob and locked-in forearm to get an arm in control, just in case I hurt them. >< ‘But dems da’ breaks’?
I got over the boob contact pretty quick. One of the amateur fighters at my school is a girl, and damned if I haven’t grabbed a hold of one of them for temporary leverage. I’m progressive like that.
But yeah, I’d have no problem rolling with a gay guy. Hell, I invited one of my gay friends to come try it out, though he’s more interested in the kickboxing portion. Maybe he’s not comfortable with it?
gay/bi men*: it’s identical as rolling with straight men, on the mat the skill counts not the sexual preference. I’m more thinking about “don’t get subbed” than anything else.
After the training the club even goes to the same “same sex” showerroom (yes, we separate men and women, but not holebi-straights), and you can be sure of it that noone is checking anyone else out. The only thing that we all want is a very hot shower because the next morning everything on your body will be stiff except your dick.
lipstick lesbians/straight women*: again identical as rolling with men, if the women are of higher ranking than yourself. Still thinking about “don’t get subbed” than “Oh my god, I touched her boobies”.
When the women have the same rank and skillset than me, there’s some ackwardty, not because they are women but because I easely outweigh them with 60 to 80 lbs.
butch lesbians*: for some reason it always turns out into a “pissing contest”, they go into “spazz noob attack form” when they are “losing” to a guy (even when it’s technique drill rolls).
Can’t say anything about higher ranking “butch lesbians”, because they don’t stick around long enough to get a higher ranking because of the SNAF-syndrome.
*disclaimer: this is a view based on the experience of training in 3 different BJJ clubs (crosstraining) and 1 Judo club. There will be exceptions to every situation and person type.
I can care less what other people’s sexualities are, be it in grappling, other sports, at work, or pretty much anywhere in internet or real life.
Barring some unwelcome violation of my personal space, if I ever had some sort of discomfort, it would be because I’m projecting onto others something that I have hidden in the closet.
It is that simple.
At the end of the day, we go to grappling to do grappling where your job is to submit or tap. So instead of looking at a person through their sexuality, look at them as people who will hurt you if you don’t pay fucking attention.
If you we are not there to do that, then we are there to look for something that arouses or creeps the fuck out of us.
So it’s just a matter of asking ourselves “what the fuck am I doing here, what the fuck do I expect to get, how these people can help me get there, and how can I help these people get to where they want to get.”
Hobby or not, treat it (and the people in it) like you would treat a job (if you know how to conduct yourself ethically and professionally.)
