1UP has taken its fair share of jabs at German movie director Uwe Boll, but it’s all out of love. I wouldn’t have taken the time to write an entire feature about the man if I didn’t harbor a secret passion for his questionable moving pictures. He’s done taking crap for his work, though, and has issued an open challenge to the world’s critics.
Get this: he wants to strap on boxing gloves and take them on inside of a ring. “I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices,” he said.
Boll will actually film the boxing sequences and feature pieces of them in his upcoming adaptation of Running With Scissors’ controversial Postal shooter. We’re not sure how it fits into the storyline, but considering how often Postal has been a scapegoat for the violence of young kids, we’re not surprised Boll’s vicariously striking back at his critics. If they aren’t cut into the movie, Boll promises to stream them via the Internet.
In order to qualify, you have to be a critic who wrote two “extremely negative articles” about Boll last year. That’s qualifies virtually anyone who wrote an article about Boll in 2005, but who’s keeping track? Too bad I can’t enter; you have to weigh 140 lbs and I’m one skinny 21-year-old with a possible eating disorder.
You know this can’t end well when the press release mentions Roger Avary (Silent Hill, Pulp Fiction) and Quentin Tarantino (Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs) are called out. We can’t wait to see what happens next.
So, WTF. What if, like, freaking Mike Tyson decides to trash an Uwe movie? I mean, his movies suck anyway, there have got to be a lot of people who would love to beat his ass over them.
The fuck kind of a name is Uwe Boll for a German dude, anyway? Hopefully he’ll get popped a few times in the dome and actually make a good movie for once.
And what the fuck?, I’ve taken shits bigger than 140lbs. Skinny fucker better hit the goddamn chow line.
Just out of curiosity, what in particular has Tarantino said or done in the past that pissed off Boll? I hadn’t heard of any animosity between them until now.
And out of equal curiosity, how do you pronounce “Uwe Boll” exactly? eewy bowl?
Oh, I don’t know be a critically acclaimed director, win an Oscar; sit on the board at Cannes. Honestly, he probably said what everyone else who doesn’t like their intelligence insulted said," his films are crap."
If its German, as we suspect, him being from GERMANY, then it is
oo-way bo-l
Also, supposedly, as internet rumor has it. He has some years of boxing under his belt, because he is rich and he pays people to teach him how to box.
And he said he would only go up against long standing critics of his films. Not newly announced critics. To prevent some badass like Tyson or Couture from stepping up and telling him he has shitty movies then boxing his head in.