I’ve searched LLL for this issue but found nothing. So I figured I’ll ask, since this is the only think-tank (snicker) I partake in.
Anyway, I have a GF, she is beautiful, amazing, awesome and all that goodness, but for the first time in my life I have to deal with an ex.
Here’s the point, I don’t keep in contact with any of my exes (as a rule), and none of my former gf’s did either, so I never dealt with a living breathing ex.
But this girl does, and I don’t know why, but it really gets under my skin, it’s not that I don’t trust her, I really do, completely. Yet somehow the notion of her meeting some guy for coffee, when I know she had a real thing with him, both sexually and emotionally, it just boils my blood somehow.
So yeah, I admit, I’m the jealous type, and I told her it’s weird for me and she gets that, I’m not gonna ask her to stop seeing people that are important to her, but man…
That’s basically it, any suggestions other than suck it up?:BangHead:
Or at the very least funny stories?
yeah the fact you’re being told about it is a good sign imo… I should have added to my above post none of my exes boyfriends ever new I was ‘meeting’ them.
I used to meet my exes when they had new boyfriends… we had sex alot.
Mickey, didn’t your exes mind you having sex with their new boyfriends?
start hanging out with one of your exes
Not gonna happen, thanks anyway, one’s crazy, and the other is still carrying a torch for me (4 years ago).
Just relax and leave it alone. Be the guy she wants to be with.
Yeah, that’s what I’m doing now, and it’s all good for the relationship, but I still get that jealous vibe.
Edit:
Mickey, posted that before I saw your addition.
I’ll add, that I really trust her, I really do, I have no worries whatsoever about that stuff, it just gets under my skin, it’s probably all my fault anyway.
[quote=Kickapoo;2462256]Can I get some more insight into this line of thinking?
I’m not trying to be spiteful or a dick, I’m legitimately curious.[/quote]
I can of understand where he is coming from. Nothing good can come of hanging around with ones ex. They are an ex for a reason. Remaining “friends” with exs is typically a bad idea. I am not saying you can’t be pleasant or on good terms with, but really shouldn’t be hanging out its just playing with fire. Of course until the point one gets married its fine to keep all there options open I suppose.
[quote=goodlun;2462269]I can of understand where he is coming from. Nothing good can come of hanging around with ones ex. They are an ex for a reason. Remaining “friends” with exs is typically a bad idea. I am not saying you can’t be pleasant or on good terms with, but really shouldn’t be hanging out its just playing with fire. Of course until the point one gets married its fine to keep all there options open I suppose.[/quote]You are so cut and dry, at times, it is painful. There are certain circumstances where exes can be friends. I know quite a few that dated and found out real quick they weren’t any more than friends.
They were cool and had fun with each other in groups, thought it would work out together, and found out they didn’t click.
[quote=It is Fake;2462272]You are so cut and dry, at times, it is painful. There are certain circumstances where exes can be friends. I know quite a few that dated and found out real quick they weren’t any more than friends.
They were cool and had fun with each other in groups, thought it would work out together, and found out they didn’t click.
It is situational.[/quote]
Your right its because when I think of Exs I don’t think of the person you went out with for a month or 2. I think more along the lines of people who where in very serious long term relationships. In situations like you described where they found out real quick that they are just better off as friends I agree no issues what so ever.
I put the hard line out there to break up the feel good party. Gidi probably has a great thing going with his girl, and his girl may be great and loyal. There is always that shadow of the past when you hang out with exes that have been somewhat meaningful and intimate. That said, they could be great friends with a agreed, communicated, mature platonic relationship.
I keep in touch with two of my exes. One of them is a good friend of mine, and we actually keep in touch via old-school letters (she moved out to the desert). In both cases, we know it’s over romantically and that’s that. I even get girl advice from them about the one I’m dating right now. Give your girl some credit and some faith, and if it’s really bothering you, talk to her about it, but make it clear that the reason why is that YOU feel uncomfortable, not that SHE did something wrong.
[quote=Kickapoo;2462253]You are the one she chose to be with. I used to get jealous til I got that through my head.
Do you ever actually stop to think about why you feel the way you do?[/quote]
I think it’s because I’ve never felt about any girl the way I do about this one (yeah yeah, I’m a sweetheart:eusa_booh). for the first time, I’m genuinely afraid of losing this girl, which is a feeling all new to me.
What level of contact exactly is there that remains?
Is her ex seeing someone or single?
I’ve never met him, but I trust her that nothing is going on in that line, he’s just a meaningful person in her life, and I’m trying to respect that.
Gidi probably has a great thing going with his girl, and his girl may be great and loyal. There is always that shadow of the past when you hang out with exes that have been somewhat meaningful and intimate. That said, they could be great friends with a agreed, communicated, mature platonic relationship.
This is true, it just irks me.
*I decided to not think of this as much as I can , so went for a 3km run and some outdoor workout, at least if I ever have to put my foot up this guys face, I’ll be big and intimidating.:violent1:
Well you could consider meeting him. Go there and interact with him just like you would any of her other friends get a feel for how he is see how the two of them interact together. If this girl really is important to you, you should get to know the people who are in her life that are important to her. It may be a little disturbing at first but it may put your mind at ease.
As piz’d pointed out it is the level and amount of contact. It bothers you and that is obvious. You need to find out why it bothers you because, in a few cases you could be seeing something or you could be imagining something.
All this “trust her” and “let it slide” isn’t going to do anything but lead to problems later. Find out YOUR issue first then go from there.
This is sort of a different situation, but my girlfriend’s last serious partner before me was a girl. They are now best friends and pretty much spend 1 weekend a month together.
I would love to say that I would be this cool with things if she were a he but…I’m not too sure.
You could just talk to her about it. Let her know that your not trying to control her or restrict her from seeing him, but you’d like to know what she gets from seeing him as much as he does. Maybe her answers would reassure you, and you’d be letting her know how you feel in a non judgement way.
I like Fake’s advice but…
i think the op is being a pussy and keep hoping this will devolve into some more ridicule/insinuations of infidelity/sloppy seconds etc. for my entertainment…
After all this kinda borders on this:
What this forum is not for:
Bitching & whining; especially about women. MAN THE FUCK UP. Do you bitch & whine on the mat? Stop being a fucking girly man.
No?
It seems so supportive group huggy-ish…
How unseeemly!
To the OP: You are insecure, when you probably shouldn’t be. She chose to be with you despite your small penis or whatever else makes you doubt yourself. If she chooses to be with you, then she is also choosing NOT to be with him. If that changes, you will know. Until then, stop worrying, because it’s stupid.
I don’t know what the hell happened to Bullshido when I was gone, but when did we start holding hands and sharing for chrissakes?!?
