Ive never posted here before, but I figure you folks might appreciate this story…
Heres the background: Good friend of mine, (Jason) who is disabled, lives with his girlfriend (Sarah) and a friend of hers (Christina). The friend of hers has a boyfriend (Adam) who is big into the BJJ and supposedly trained for years out in the southwest somewhere (I think in new mexico) before moving up here. My friend, who I have known for almost twenty years and who I am assissting with his phys rehab, had told me what an obnoxious penis this guy was, and he had also told me that this guy had a thing for putting him in these shitty locks and all that crap. I guess the dude was trying to impress the girls or something. I dont know.
What I do know is last night Sarah called me up and said that I might wanna get 'round to their apartment because Jason and Adam had been at odds and Jason threatened Adam with a firearm because Adam had tried to choke Jason out.
I laughed all the way over there.
When I got there, much to my amazement, both of these yahoos were still in the apartment arguing. Jason was on the far end of the couch pointing a big hoss revolver toward the kitchen, and Adam was hurling obscenities from within said kitchen. It took every ounce of discipline I possess to keep from erupting with laughter at the sheer hilarity of the scene. It really was funny. Some people might not think so, but I certainly did.
So I walked over to where homeboy was reclining, with his two friends Smith & Wesson, and said, “can I have that please?” He obliged me and relinquished the weapon, but he made the stipulation that I didnt go far with it because, as he put it, “if that son of a bitch touches me again Im gonna blow his fuckin dick off!” That seemed reasonable to me so I unloaded the weapon and tucked it away in my waistband.
It was about this time that Adam decided to get brave and exit the kitchen for the living room. Now, Adam is a reasonably fit individual. He’s young. He’s strong. From what little I’ve seen of his shenanigans its fairly obvious that he does have at least some amount of martial arts experience. But he must have been absent the day that they taught “if you’re going to try to take a gun out of someones belt make sure they arent an ex-con who outweighs you by fifty pounds and has 15+ years of experience in ninjutsu” because thats exactly what he tried to do.
You can imagine the outcome…
When he got back up I told him that I thought that everything there had gotten way out of hand, and that I was sorry for hitting him, and that I thought we all just needed to take a breather. You could tell by the look on his face that his adrenaline levels were significantly elevated, and you could tell by the look in his eyes that he was way beyond pissed off. So I made the suggestion that maybe the best thing to do was to take christina out for dinner to a nice place and maybe when they get back we can all have a drink and laugh about all of this. I whipped out my wallet and offered him a fifty dollar bill and said, “my treat.”
But I guess BJJ guys dont like free dinners. He went for my wrist, in what was no doubt an attempt to get me to the ground and “ju-jitsu” me or something. Maybe he thought he was gonna make me tap out or whatever. I dont know. I do know that what he got for his trouble was my left elbow delivered into his right orbital socket and what has, Im sure today, become one hell of a black eye.
In the end he left the premises, while promising reprisals of course, and didnt come back. I do intend to go back over there after class tonight and see if he’s around for a rematch, but I doubt that much will come of it.
I had never had the opportunity to fight a brazilian ju-jitsu dude before, and maybe I still havent, but if what I saw last night is any indication then my feelings about BJJ have been confirmed. Just a pile of fat queers rollin around on the floor in spandex underwear tryin to see who can sniff the most crotch. Not one real fighter in the bunch.
Just thought Id share that story with you folks. Hope you enjoyed it.