Balancing Training and relationship

Hi Everyone,

For those of you - in a relationship - who have/had arguments with your girlfriend/wife about spending time training instead of enjoying time together as a couple/family.

A time ago I used to train 5-6 times a week, but had to reduce it to 2-3 times otherwise complaining would never stop.

I understand that those who have families (and kids, maybe a dog) are in a much more difficult situation.

Would appreciate hearing your stories and advice about how to handle this situation.

I was always up front about my priorities. Depending on the person andnature of relationship, you can work stuff out.

If you are married with kids, you gotta get your priorities straight. Family is first, otherwise, don’t get in the family way.


Getting the kids involved in training is a get out of jail free card


My oldest kid trains soccer, three times week. I have right the time he is in the field.

If I do it right, I do some bodyweight while he is trainning.

I am looking forward to go back to train properly, in a gym with partners, as soon as I get the vaccine and doctor’s green light.

*Edit (typos)

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Balance? BALANCE?

It smells like fucking pussy in here!

You can’t domesticate a wild beast! Fuck you for trying!

That is the weakest shit I have heard all month and my roomate has a kid who won’t stop talking about “Five Sauce”. I don’t know what that is but I bet y’all could shed some light on it because apparently I’m surrounded by a bunch of glittery, gender-indeterminate tweens!

Balance is maintaining proper form so you don’t strain yourself. Balance is having the discipline to put goals before vaginas.

Yeah I know you love the bitch. Your kids too. Do you think they’ll really respect you for letting it go and resigning yourself to overtime hours at the death camp and lame sunday cook-outs?

Just ask Devil. That woman will be sucking off a drug addict with a neck tattoo before you’re even done with your morning commute.

I bet they’d look up to you even more if you were jacked like a fucking mosnter truck tho! You think little Timmy is going to say shit about missing try-outs when you can crush a watermelon between your viciously angular, rock hard man titties? Fuck no! He’ll be riding on your shoulders like Master Blaster while you shit all over the bully kid’s dad in front of his brood.

And forget about your wife fuckin aroud. She’ll need a court order to keep that dick out of her face. Literally.

Nah, son. There is no “balance” between life and training. Life is training. Every day is leg day. There is no Dana. There is only Zul.

If your family is getting in the way of your gains it’s time to decide what your real priority is. The warior monk life isn’t for everybody, family man.

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Crom grins!!

My feelings aren’t hurt, they’re dead cold now.

:metal:Time for cock push ups!! :rooster::muscle:t2:

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What are you training and what are you training for?

The answer is very simple, you’ll be pleased to hear!
The steps I followed were very simple.

Have a string of meaningless relationships, have them fail for various reasons (including, but not limited to my stubborn refusal to skip class to get drunk), resign yourself to the fact that you will die alone and unloved, and somehow then end up meeting the love of your life during an Open Mat. Coming up for seven years, she loves Jiu Jitsu, and she’s not throttled me in my sleep yet, so I would call it a success.

Seriously though, I would try to gently coax your partner into trying your classes, or at least make your peace with the fact that unless you’ve got an excellent case to make, compromise is inevitable.

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Since no thread image was included for the thumbnail I’m pulling one at random.


Training can be a relationship killer. If you have an SO who has a problem with training 2 or 3 times per week then they have the problem. If you are training daily and expect no pushback then you have the problem.

One thing that can help is if your SO has their own thing. If all they do is hang around the house waiting for your company, that’s not healthy. They need their own hobby, their own time away from your sorry ass.

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Compromise and balance. Something always has to give. I don’t have as much time to spend on random stuff, my free time is spent on training, so don’t have time to game etc. during the week. I allocate time in the evening I spend with the wife, cooking and watching series or something similar. If you can fix the time to spend with your partner, they might be cool with you spending the remaining time training. Often people feel that they aren’t a priority in your life if you aren’t spending the same kind of effort on your relationship as your training. Creating that consistent together time might go far in giving you space for training.

I also try train early morning, get it done early, less chances of anything interfering. Also opens the option of adding a session every now and then in the evening if you have time.

But each situation is different. Sometimes partners get jealous of training because they think you are getting into shape for someone else.

True fact.

I weighted 79’6kg the day we met, my wife and I.

Never under 90kg ever since, having reached 103kg of teletubbie shapeless blob in a mere 6 month time period from our first date.

She loves me because of my inner beauty, or my inner warrior, but it has to be inside, somewhere, because I ate it.



Raising children and training could be a secondary topic here.

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Mrs. Rabbit expects me to keep up with my kung fu at all times.

It’s not easy. If it was they wouldn’t call it kung fu.

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Yeah i was round the 100kg mark august 2019 (knee injuries etc. had taken their toll). Dropped down to 83.1 at my lowest and now i sit at about 85. What really pissed me off is once i started losing weight everyone was happy to tell me how fat i had gotten, not sure why they couldn’t tell me that while i was getting fat. haha.

The mrs was suspicious, why are you losing weight, who are you losing weight for, etc. etc.

But a year later she could see i was just training to get back into shape. Takes more motivation than picking someone up to keep yourself is shape a year down the line.


Parenting and training anyone?

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My oldest son has never had a day of training in an MA school, but for the first few years I basically taught him what I knew about judo leg sweeps and newaza. From the time he could barely walk we were throwing down. Now he’s 17 and really fucking strong. I have to go at least 7/10 on the BJJ intensity scale to sub him. He’s the tryhard of the two, but totally lazy in every other aspect of life right now (17).

My younger son (13) has a green belt in TKD, a year of BJJ, and basic boxing lessons, is the same weight as the older one (he’s taller), but gets dominated because the older one learned to grapple more naturally and earlier in life. Only recently did we get past not giving up your back whenever your older brother pounces on you…bad tactics. But now he requires about 5/10 intensity, and is definitely going to be a better striker than his father (which isn’t that big a challenge, I hate striking).

I refuse to teach either one of them kung fu yet. They can barely handle making their beds in the morning.

Dick aka Devil.

I should post video of my teenage boys slamming and pinning other kids in HS wrestling tournies…

The power of athletic development from a young age.

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Oh, you like that? Son 2, as a sophomore, never wrestled before, other than with me, since he was 2, and limited Judo, lost only 3 matches last season, all to guys from 5A schools that would be varsity at our local 3A high school.

Son 1 gave up on wrestling, but his first and only season was similar. His power double was amazing. Along with his Osoto Otoshi, LOL. And his Ippon Seoinage, even more LOL>

It was his tribute to Dad. I nearly cried when I watched him set up the first Osoto with a footsweep.

Like, I literally had tears in my eyes.