So tonight we pulled a security gig: it was a “friend of a friend of a friend” the best sort of reference for this kind of work.
Absolutely the easest $120/hr door-prize/fuckking thing you can do: non-issue nerds showing up for a conference pre-party thingy. The problem is the client! She is a fucking babe! She’s the regional manager of the firm she works for; has this beautiful scar on her face from Roller Derby action and being a badass;she pays on time and tips well and gets flirty once she hits the bourbon…
I have a good marriage, a beautiful son, all is well; wtf should I do?!?!? DAMMITALL!!!
p.s. I have no fucking idea what I’m asking you to do! U Modesto fukkhead!!!
If it makes you feel better, I got kicked out of the Lusty Lady again thursday…
Damn those broads have a lot of rules if you consider the environment. I guess trying to break the window so they can make their escape is against policy. They put up this little curtain and you have to run over to another window, while escaping the bouncers. Its like Whack-A-Mole.
But cheating on your wife? FUCK THAT!! My wife is GEORGEOUS, and my son is a genius! ( scored 600 on his math out of 600 for the year, that’s good right?). My man, I have everything I could ever want, and that’s not bad for a ninth grade dropout who spent his formative years in a speed lab.
Flirting is great for the ego, and the imagination. And roller derby chicks are indeed pretty hot (is she Oakland Outlaws, or an old school Bay City Bomber?). But keep your house in order homie. Of course, you already know that don’t you, you sly devil…
yup, that makes me feel all better!!! I’m not sure why. There ought to be a themepark version of the Lusty Lady where you can run through all the booths…never mind you’re livin it!
And, yep, pure ego, that’s all its good for.
600 on math is fantastic, that’s like 111% eh? duh. Good one for the little lad
A few weeks ago, I was at the bar with the folks from work, and I’m talking to this girl, cute, Filipina/Irish, harmless conversation. I was even telling her about my wifes vintage clothing boutique thingie, but admitedly, I was in the girls space in a flirtatious way.
I look behind the girl and noticed my co-workers jaws drop, and eyes widen. I immediately knew what was happening, I’ve seen this look of fear in the eyes of brave men before. I turn around.
“Oh hi babe! I was just-”
“WHO THE FUCK IS THIS HUH?”
Before I could answer, the 5’2 housewife grabs the 6’ 260# biker by the shirt and drags me out the bar in a fell swoop.
So, back when I was a bit of teh player, I was playing pool with the homies. (this was when I lived in Brooklyn-in case the wife reads this)
This very nice young lass walks in and wants a pool lesson. Now I’m a total hack at pool, but I sure can talk like I know what I know what I’m doing-it seems to bleed into my ma instruction-but I digress!
So it’s happy hour, we’re all drinking and I’m leaning over this honey helping her set up her break. Her ample decollatage is glistening in the setting sun that’s coming thru the open exit door.
A shadow blots out the sun, my mates get kind of quiet and stiffen up. I and the flirty broad look up and in the doorway is my then girlfriend, hands on hips…
