...and now a random fact about Chuck Norris:

In 1989, Phil Collins challenged Chuck Norris to a drinking contest. Collins passed out after the 6th shot of moonshine. Chuck Norris went on to drink 12 more shots and a pint of antifreeze just to prove Collins a pussy. This, of course, led to the fall of the Berlin Wall later that year.

Few people are aware that Chuck Norris is the first person to ever be diagnosed with beard cancer. Upon hearing this, Chuck Norris quickly beat the cancer into remission with a series of roundhouse kicks and rabbit punches.

Chuck Norris does not buy his beef in the store. No, he goes into a pasture and starts eating a cow alive while it is grazing.

Thats a lie. I do that. And I eat the BULL not the cow.

I heard that Chuck Norris killed a man at the Machado school just by holding him in his guard and thinking mean thoughts.

feh, chuck norris? Bruce lee beats him in 2… no 1 second

Chuck Norris was born of the Greek gods Ares and Hermes in a grand session of buttsecks that may never be equaled.

One day I was kicking people’s dogs and punching babies and old women in the face when Chuck Norris said I was being mean and politely asked me to stop. I was all like, “Shut up faggot” and he was all, “Why do you say hurtful things?” Then he teleported away, but not after summoning a bunch of zombies to kick my ass. Now, everyone knows that zombies are pussies, except Chuck Norris because he’s a dipshit, so I won’t go into too much detail about how I kicked zombie ass. Just know that it was aweome.

Anyway, I arrived at the door to Chuck Norris’ big gay fortress, which is (or was anyway) made of fluffy pillows and dildos. The doorknob was a gigantic testicle, so instead of touching it and being a fag I smashed my way through the wall and started punching people in the face. It turned out to be a PETA meeting.

…holy shit, that’s like 5 kinds of win.

This guy at work calls me Chuck cos he thinks it’s funny that I do martial arts.And no matter how many times I tell him what styles I do, he keeps asking how kung fu is going haha.

Women aren’t supposed to do martial arts. They should stay to the kitchen and cook my dinner, damnit.

what a total waste of life you are.

It’s not my fault women are weak and helpless.

Mega Jesus-San is in love with Maddox

Chuck Norris is not gay!

runs away weeping

All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put Humpty together again. Chuck Norris turned up later, and put Humpty together again, but only so he could “smash him good”. Humpty remains in a critical condition.

Classic.

Chuck Norris once killed a 10,000 pound bear, tore it into 10,000 pieces, and then fed it to a school of salmon just because he enjoyed the irony.

LOL! That site is gold.

The random facts about Vin Diesel are even better.

One day Chuck Norris went shopping and he had grabbed the last can of pea soup off the counter. Just then Steven Segal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Godzilla walked in and turned to Chuck Norris and said, “Give us the pea soup Buck Morris!” right then Chuck Norris turned around and went, “The name is Chuck Norris!” and he brutally anniliated all three of them. The pea soup tasted especially good that night.

Each red and white blood cell in Chuck Norris’ bloodstream has its own beard.