alex is a bastard to women

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else The Finer Things
1

yesterday was almost surreal. girl ive been seeing broke up with me at 11am (which tbh didnt surprise me since there was no spark there)

by 12:30 i was making serious headway through the bottle of vodka i had lying around. by 1pm i was hitting on the girl handing out samples at the supermarket. not sure how i got there but she used to go to school with me, i couldnt remember her for the life of me though. not sure if it was obvious that i was completely smashed or if she really did have a BF.

came home at about 2, got on the piss with a couple of friends. finished the vodka. im not a heavy drinker so after i finished the half a litre of vodka i threw most of it up and passed out. im not sure what time this was. I woke up in time to see my flatmate dressed like a retard and invited myself to the flatwarming he was going to, which had a school costume theme. its amazing the number of people who are fucking lame enough to actually keep their school clothes, although they were probably mostly first years since they were so enthusiastic about it

I was doing my best to ignore everyone around me, hoard my steak and beer, but i didnt do a good job in my inebriated state. some asshole was taking my beers while i wasnt looking and some other asshole took one of my steaks. who the fuck does this sort of thing? it wouldnt even occur to me to take another guys steak. Some girl whos name I had to ask about 5 times (and immediately forgot it every time) tried chatting to me but i think she sensed my hatred for woman at that time and said “ill be back soon have to go talk to someone” lying bitch.

so i sat down by myself at a table and two girls came down and started chirping at me. gotta say the theme for this party was fucking lame and i just had a black dress shirt, trousers, and a rather nice tie. most of the other guys had either their original uniforms or some lame shitty attempt to recreate their wasted yoof in a unique, “im majoring in fine arts” way. but the talent on display was pretty fucking great, girls busting out of white blouses and those dirty dirty knee high socks. anyway this girl was giving me the full view, although she said she was “sorta in a relationship”. i got her number, checked it by sending her a txt saying “does your boyfriend apreciate you?”
(i love you ryan reynolds btw)
she laughed and gave me one of her beers. would you fucking believe it, i was just trying to get rid of her and give myself a chuckle. then i went home and passed out after threatening some asshole who im pretty sure hit me with some ice.

I would like to thank the NZ govt for funding my lifestyle! work is for schmucks

2

To be fair, you’re not a heavy anything.

3

i dont exactly have a lot of room to store the alcohol. in fact its amazing the amount i CAN put away, i have a few friends around my weight and they cant come close. must be the irish blood (or they are just even more pussy than me)

4

Got on the piss with a couple of friends? What the fuck?

5

Everyone thinks they’re Tucker Max.

6

getting on the piss is a term used in NZ for getting drunk.

most of tucker maxs stories are bullshit. nobody remembers that much detail from when they are plastered.

7

I assumed that. It’s still an odd colloquialism.

8

I tend to have almost total recall from when Im drunk. Its a curse.

9

Me too. It’s hellish. I honestly envy those fucker who can kid themselves that their friends are exaggerating the insane, arseholeish stupidity they commit when drunk.

10

That’s not the point.

11

makes mental note NOT to go out drinking with temppong
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nor with PointyShinyBurn
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nor Alex

12

Or me. I can remember every time i have gotten truly wasted.

13

LOL U tossed it after only 1/2 liter of Vodka what a wuss LOL Try Titos Vodka very smooth comes from Texas ( of all places). Also try not to wear a tie to a party it can turn out to be an easy choke. Good Luck in you future endevours

JD

14

You and me would be great friends if we knew eachother Alex.

15

im friends with almost everyone i meet so yeah, prolly. making enemies is a waste of time. im a big believer in social karma and its helped me in the past more than once.

16

Everyone who has been to university has been Tucker Max at some point. That’s why they all like his stories.

17

By the way this totally kicks the crap out of Sircs assmole thread.

18

What about the girls number you got? Make any progress? Got a pic?

19

<makes note>

Alex claims to have been wearing a shirt.

I call BULLSHIDO !!!

20

im putting it off a little, dont want to look clingy. even though i am MAD KEEN to jump her bones. was going to ask her round to a flatwarming this friday but im going into town with a girl who i met a year ago and never talked to who i asked out cos i was bored. so that might get complicated.

for the record i would -never- put a picture of a girl im seeing on the internet without their express permission. that shit is wrong. it just reeks of sad “look at me im a dork and have to parade this girl around to my e-friends”