$50,000

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else The Finer Things
1

Alright, so I have to write an essay about what I would do if I inherited or suddenly received a lump sum of $50,000.

I could go the smart route (i.e. invest in something, housing, condo, blah blah blah) or I could do it the slacker way and say something like, “I’d put it in the bank and withdraw $500. Then I would go and spend $5.80 on a Little Caesar’s pizza, etc. etc. etc.” until I filled up the required pages.

Or I could get some of you blokes who have actually invested large sums of money into some sort of money market and make myself sound like I know what I’m doing and thus my teacher will think I’m a genius.

2

invest it in the energy market

3

You guys think I could convince my teacher that $50,000 in hookers and coke will exponentially improve my quality of life?

4

Yes!

If you shared the coke and hookers with the teacher.

5

What subject and purpose is the essay for?

Hookers and coke might not go down too well for a Economics class, but would work well in a Philosophy class.

6

It’s my econ class.

I dunno, I could argue that my $50,000 investment would do wonders for my self-esteem and quality of life.

7

Ah get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance,
Learn to dance, get dressed
Get blessed, try to be a success
Please her, please him,
Buy gifts, don’t steal, don’t lift
Twenty years of schoolin’ and they put you on the day shift
Look out kid, they keep it all hid
Better jump down a manhole, light yourself a candle
Don’t wear sandals, try to avoid the scandals
Don’t wanna be a bum, you better chew gum
The pump don’t work 'cause the vandals took the handles.

Is this the Dylan appreciation thread?

8

Work out the cost of a life time of therapy if you repress your dreams, make sure that it’s more than 50K, and the justify your plan to go on tour with your favourite band and spend it on hookers and coke by pointing out that it ultimately saves money and is therefore a good personal investment.

9

I want to just write, “I’d drop 3/4 of it into a 5% ING’s saving account and then spend the rest on my automotive habit. The end.”

But that’s not quite 4 pages.

10

Two chicks at the same time.

11

Go into detail. Describe the walk to the bank, flirting with the teller, driving to the auto parts place, installing the parts, etc.

12

I’d fly to Pirate Island, California and beat you up without filming it. For a start.

13

Or he could go into detail… about why he thinks the particular investment he chose is the best one, weighing the pro and cons of different funds and schemes, and describing his long and short term goals for the money. In another words, provide a rationale for his choice; to prove that it’s the product of sound economic reasoning and judgement, and not just a fucking guess.

I think that’s probably what the teacher is looking for.

Ah what the hell, hookers and coke sounds pretty good too.

14

what kind of simpleton college do you go to that would ask such a shitty question for an essay?

id write “BUY A NEW CAR” with one word on each piece of paper

15

Put a down payment on Bullshido Island.

16

Fuck you. It’s busy work.

17

You know what I would do?
Nothing.

And I’m sure it would be everything I think it would.

18

Renewable resources are being highly touted by certain major investors right now. Solar and wind are your friend. Additionally, you’ll appear to be an environmentally conscious citizen in good standing with the community.

While we know nothing could be further from the truth, your professor won’t.

19

Write her a long essay about loot, liquor and ladies.

20

Drop it in the USO. It’s directly tied to the price of a barrel of oil.

http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=USO